fid..me myself and i

2006-09-04T01:36:00.000-07:00

hurt me no more...

"Jgnlah kamu bersikap lemah, dan jgnlah pula kamubersedih hati, padahal kamulah org2 yg paling tinggi darjatnya, jika kamu org2 ygberiman."Surah Al-Imran ayat 139

i'm tired of being here, doing these..

"Wahai orang-orang yang beriman! Bersabarlah kamu(menghadapi segala kesukaran dalam mengerjakan perkara-perkara yang berkebajikan),dan kuatkanlah kesabaran kamu lebih daripada kesabaran musuh,di medan perjuangan), dan bersedialah(dengan kekuatan pertahanan didaerah-daerah sempadan) serta bertaqwalah kamu kepada Allah supaya,kamu berjaya(mencapai kemenangan)."

i juz don't know what to do with myself..

"Dan mintalah pertolongan (kepada Allah) dengan jalan sabar dan mengerjakan sembahyang; dan sesungguhnya sembahyang itu amatlah berat kecuali kepada orang-orang yang khusyuk"Surah Al-Baqarah ayat 45

but i'm alone..

"Cukuplah Allah bagiku,tidak ada Tuhan selaindrNya. Hanya kepadaNya aku bertawakkal."Surah At-Taubah ayat 129

will I end up like this..

"... ..dan jgnlah kamuberputus asa dr rahmatAllah.Sesungguhnya tiada berputus asa dr rahmatAllah melainkan kaum yg kafir."Surah Yusuf ayat 12

2006-08-29T06:58:00.000-07:00

BLESSED THE BROKEN ROADS

I set out on a narrow way many years ago
Hoping I would find true love along the broken road
But I got lost a time or two
Wiped my brow and kept pushing through
I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you
Every long lost dream lead me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you
I think about the years I spent just passing through
I'd like to have the time I lost and give it back to you
But you just smile and take my hand
You've been there you understand
It's all part of a grander plan that is coming true
Every long lost dream lead me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you
Now Im just rolling home
Into my lovers arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you...
(,^^)(--,)

2006-08-29T06:37:00.000-07:00

There's some things that I regret
Some words I wish had gone unsaid
Some starts that had some better endings
Been some bad times I 've been through
Damage I could not undo
Some things I wish I could do all all over again
But it don't really matter
When life gets that much harder
It makes you that much stronger
Some pages turned, some bridges burned
But there were lessons learned
From every tear that had to fall from my eyes
From every day I wondered how I'd get through the night
From every change life has thrown me
I'm thankful for every break in my heart
I'm grateful for every scar
There's mistakes that I have made
Some chances I just threw away
Some roads I never should've taken
Been some signs I didn't see
Hearts that I hurt needlessly
Some wounds that I wish I could have one more chance to mend
But it don't make no difference
The past can't be re-written
You get the life you're given
Some pages turned, some bridges burned
But there were lessons learned
And all the things that break you
Are all the things that make you strong
You can't change the past coz it's gone
And you gotta just move on
It's all lessons learned (--,)

2006-08-25T19:43:00.000-07:00

Menanti Sebuah Jawaban

aku tak bisa luluhkan hatimu
dan aku tak bisa menyentuh cintamu
seiring jejak kakiku bergetar
aku tlah terpagut oleh cintamu
menelusup hariku dengan harapan
namun kau masih terdiam membisu
sepenuhnya aku ingin memelukmu
mendekap penuh harapan ‘tuk mencintaimu
setulusnya aku akan terus menunggu
menanti sebuah jawaban ‘tuk memilikimu
betapa derunya rindu menusuk jiwaku
semoga kau tahu isi hatiku
dan seiring waktu yang terus berputar
aku masih terhanyut dalam mimpiku
aku tak bisa luluhkan hatimu
dan aku tak bisa menyentuh cintamu...
Padi~

2006-06-16T20:59:00.000-07:00

long time no write ait..
so bz..
til then..
hik..daaaa~

2005-05-17T02:41:00.000-07:00

sayu t'dgr suaranya..
sering m'cari tentangnya...
tak terasa pun pabila ianya pergi..
.tapi sepi bila dia tak kembali...
aku..yang mencari..
cuba mencari dengan hati yang suci...
itu lebih indah dari memilikinya tapi ku hargai..
pastinya ia akan datang padaku tanpa seruan...
pastinya jua akan pergi tanpa alasan...
akan ku kejarnya sblumnya hilang dari pandanganku...
kerna hadirnya adalah anugerah yang tiada bandingan...
thanx Allah 4 da gift of.....

IMAN...

2004-12-03T04:20:00.000-08:00

I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have All of me
You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me I've been alone all along..

*** dedicate this song. feel like dying everytime i hear it..vids ni lagi sedih..
life is always like dat right? only the strong will survive ('',)..
a friend had once said to me and i still remember it til now..dat..

"GOOD THINGS ALWAYS COME TO THOSE WHO WAIT"

2004-11-28T20:57:00.000-08:00

ATRIAL SEPTAL DEFECT
ASD is a common congenital cardiac disorder comprising 5-10% of congenital heart disease. ASD is characterized by a defect in the interatrial septum that allows pulmonary venous return to pass from the left to the right atrium, resulting in right atrial and right ventricular chamber dilation, the extent of which is dependent on shunt size. Patients (especially those with small or isolated defects) are usually asymptomatic through the first 3 decades of life, although more than 70% become impaired by the fifth decade. Early surgical closure of most types of ASD is recommended.
Recently, ASDs have more often been closed by a variety of catheter-implanted occlusion devices rather than by direct surgical closure using cardiopulmonary bypass. These devices are placed through a femoral venous approach and are deployed like an umbrella to seal the septal defect. These devices work best for small, centrally located secundum defects. The type and rate of complications differ among devices, the most common of which is systemic embolization of the device.
The criterion standard in the treatment of ASD is direct closure of the defect using an open approach with extracorporeal support.Usually, a median sternotomy incision is made, and the sternum is split in the midline. Direct arterial and double venous (superior vena cava and inferior vena cava) cannulation are performed. On cardiopulmonary bypass, the aorta is clamped and the heart is arrested with cardioplegia solution. The caval snares are tightened, and the right atrium is opened. Most secundum defects can be closed by direct continuous suture of 3-0 or 4-0 Prolene.
Caution must be taken when directly closing large defects because this can distort the atrium. Large defects that rise superiorly can distort the aortic anulus if closed directly. These ASDs are also best closed using autologous pericardium or synthetic patches of Dacron or polytetrafluoroethylene (PTFE). Care must be taken to completely remove any air or debris from the left atrium and ventricle before coming off cardiopulmonary bypass. Temporary pacing wires are left in place on the right ventricle before closing the chest over drains.
In patients with ostium primum defects, surgical closure is more complicated. The patch must be attached to the septum at the juncture of the mitral and tricuspid valves. Mitral valve repair, including closure of the cleft mitral leaflet and, possibly, annuloplasty, may be necessary to correct or prevent mitral insufficiency. In rare cases, mitral valve replacement may be required.
In sinus venosus defects, partial anomalous pulmonary venous return is typical. One or more of the pulmonary veins primarily drains into the right atrium. The ASD must be patched in such a way as to ensure that the anomalous pulmonary venous drainage is diverted into the left atrium. This may be simple or complex, depending on where the anomalous drainage enters. Many innovative techniques have been developed to redirect pulmonary flow, and the surgeon should be familiar with several approaches. Pulmonary venous return must not be compromised with the redirection because this invariably causes localized venous hypertension and pulmonary complications.
In recent years, minimally invasive approaches to the repair of ASD have garnered significant interest. In most cases, this simply means a smaller incision with different approaches to cardiopulmonary bypass. Examples include partial or full submammary skin incision, hemisternotomy, and limited thoracotomy. Clearly, the goal is to provide better cosmetic results, since these approaches are not associated with less morbidity or mortality.

further readings:
http://www.emedicine.com/med/topic3519.htm
http://www.emedicine.com/ped/topic171.htm
a simpler article:
http://www.ahealthyadvantage.com/topic/topic100586480

hmm,my cousin has ASD and he had undergone an Operation last monday in IJN. juz wanna know more about it ('',) and share it wt u all.

2004-11-09T13:19:00.000-08:00

hooray!few more days and we'll celebrating aidilfitri! my baju raya thn ini.. green and pink! hm, i'm going back to my kampung on first day raya only..so, hr raya kedua dah boleh dtg rumah, ya!!! xla byk sgt kuih..beli x byk, buat pun x byk..don worry, i'l cook then!hik, xla reti sgt..taste it first then baru boleh kutuk, okay. nothing much to write, dh habis idea. hm, here i post sumthing inspiring (for me la..). got it from a fren. hope u'l like it too ;)

Allah berfirman:
"Ketika Aku menciptakan seorang wanita, ia
diharuskan untuk menjadi seorang yang istimewa.
Aku membuat bahunya cukup kuat untuk menopang dunia;
namun, harus cukup lembut untuk memberikan kenyamanan."

"Aku memberikannya kekuatan dari dalam
untuk mampu melahirkan anak dan menerima
penolakan yang seringkali datang dari anak-
anaknya."

"Aku memberinya kekerasan untuk membuatnya
tetap tegar ketika orang-orang lain menyerah, dan
mengasuh keluarganya dengan penderitaan dan
kelelahan tanpa mengeluh."

"Aku memberinya kepekaan untuk mencintai
anak-anaknya dalam setiap keadaan, bahkan
ketika anaknya bersikap sangat menyakiti
hatinya."

"Aku memberinya kekuatan untuk mendukung
suaminya dalam kegagalannya dan melengkapi
dengan tulang rusuk suaminya untuk melindungi
hatinya."

"Aku memberinya kebijaksanaan untuk
mengetahui bahwa seorang suami yang baik
takkan pernah menyakiti isterinya, tetapi kadang
menguji kekuatannya dan ketetapan hatinya untuk
berada disisi suaminya tanpa ragu."

"Dan akhirnya, Aku memberinya air mata untuk
dititiskan. Ini adalah khusus miliknya untuk
digunakan bilapun ia perlukan."

"Kecantikan seorang wanita bukanlah dari
pakaian yang dikenakannya, susuk yang ia
tampilkan, atau bagaimana ia menyisir
rambutnya.Kecantikan seorang wanita harus
dilihat dari MATAnya, kerana itulah PINTU HATInya,
tempat dimana CINTA itu ada."

~it's not easy to be pretty, raitt? ;)
SELAMAT HARI RAYA MAAF ZAHIR BATIN

2004-11-02T12:06:00.000-08:00

KUBUR SETIAP HARI MENYERU MANUSIA
SEBANYAK LIMA KALI...

1. Aku rumah yang terpencil, maka kamu akan
senang dengan selalu membaca al-quran.
2. Aku rumah yang gelap, maka terangilah aku
dengan selalu solat malam.
3. Aku rumah penuh dengan tanah dan debu,
bawalah amal soleh yang menjadi hamparan.
4. Aku rumah ular berbisa, maka bawalah amalan
Bismillah sebagai penawar.
5. Aku rumah pertanyaan Munkar dan Nankir,
Maka banyakanlah bacaan "Laa ilahaillallah,
Muhammadar Rasulullah", supaya kamu dapat
jawapan kepadanya.

hm, raya tahun ni sedih sikit coz atuk pun dh xde..
anyone who view this page..sedekahkan ALFATIHAH utk arwah datuk saya, Abu bin Iah.semoga Allah mencucuri rahmat ke atas rohnya. thanks.

2004-10-17T19:16:00.000-07:00

aiya, mock cancel lagi..dr. lim poh hin sgt busy utk assess kami ni.. so, minggu dpn la nmpknya.. hm, lately sgt malas..dunno why ;( nway, dedicate dis song..sgt suka..

Come Notice me Take my hand
Why are we Strangers when Our love is strong?
Why carry on without me?
Everytime I try to fly I fall
without my wings I feel so small
I guess I need you baby
And everytime I see you in my dreams
I see your face, it's haunting me
I guess I need you baby
I make believe That you are here
It's the only way I see clear
What have I done You seem to move on easy
I may have made it rain Please forgive me
My weakness caused you pain
And this song is my sorry..

hm, nk gi ward..thanks 4 reading ('',)
doakan saya tau xm ni..x taula camna..tawakal sj ('',)

2004-10-14T19:15:00.000-07:00

i'm 21 today..HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME.. dah tua dah..the best thing of being 21 is..i'm free (ye ke?).. i am responsible for myself then..and wat's more..my birthday fell on 1st ramadhan..and it's friday..hm, mulia sungguh..hrp2nya lebih berkat la hidup saya selepas ini...hopefully, i could be a better person...21 sepatutnya lebih matang..huh, it really freaks me out! hm, tapi sedih gak..coz i got class today, really hope dat i can go home and break fast wt my family...the worst thing ever is..huh..i had gone mad to a fren..not only a fren..but..my besfren..i was mad for nothing..and i felt bad about it..jadi..tahun ni punya birthday xla best sgt...with this gnawing feeling inside..anyway, thanks a lot kpd semua yg wish saya...it is ur thoughts dat count..yg bg present tu..waa,, i love you...ahaha..sila la beri lagi lain kali.. ok, nk gi ward. next wek xm..doakan saya, k.

2004-10-14T18:54:00.000-07:00

hey, my fav song is on air..dedicate this song... all my bags are pack and i'm ready to go... i'm standing here outside ur door... i hate to wake u up to say gudbye... but d dawn is breaking it's already mornin the taxi is waiting he's blowing his horn... already i'm so lonesome i could die... so kiss me and smile for me...tell me dat u'l wait for me... hold me like u'l never lemme go... coz i'm leaving on a jetplane... dunno when i'l be back again...oh babe i hate to let u go... there's so many time i've let u down so may times i'v play around... i tell u now dat they don't mean a thing... every place i go i think of u every song i sing i sing for u when i'l come back i'l wear ur weding ring... now the time has come to leave u.. one more time and lemme kiss u close ur eyes n i'l be on my way... dream about d days to come when i don hav to leave alone... about d time now i don wanna know...